


Of Course

by RowanFlyn



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, POV Multiple, Rating May Change, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-04 18:06:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6668878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowanFlyn/pseuds/RowanFlyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College AU, the game never happened, Cal was never possessed so Bro is basically just adult!Dirk<br/>This is gonna be a slow build because I can never have enough exposition. Rating will probably change in later chapters. </p><p>John is a freshman college student when he makes a new friend named Dave. Dave tells Bro all about John over Christmas break and piques his curiosity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. CHAPTER ONE

**Author's Note:**

> I have no beta readers atm, so please forgive me for any mistakes!

**== >BE JOHN EGBERT**

You first meet Dave in an early morning Monday math class. You had just started setting up your laptop when a blonde boy wearing sunglasses indoors plops down in the seat next to you. In his hand is a cup of Starbucks coffee, and as soon as he takes his seat and pulls his bag off his shoulder he reaches into a side pocket to pull out a can of Monster. When he sees you looking at him, he pulls down his shades slightly, winks at you and begins pouring his Monster into his coffee.

  
“I’m going to die,” he announces with his lip twitching into a quick smile, before chugging the entire drink. As the class continues on, you swear you’ve never seen anyone type that fast in your life.

  
A week later you see him again in the same class, this time with only coffee, although he is wearing a set of ridiculous red pajamas.

  
“Is that a cape?” you ask, and his attention flicks to you.

  
“Fuck yea it is,” he says before sipping his coffee.

  
“I can’t tell if you’re the biggest dork in the world or if that’s actually super cool.”

  
“That’s the whole point.”

  
“The point is to make people think you’re a dork?”

  
“The point is for no one to understand what I’m doing or why I’m doing it. I didn’t realize this was ‘teach some dweeb how irony works’ class. I must be in the wrong room, I thought this was math.”

  
“Irony? Wearing a cape doesn’t seem very ironic.”

  
Dave pulls a bag of gummy bears out of his bag and pops a red one in his mouth before he continues, “I’m almost certain this is math class, if you really wanna be taught the ways of true irony I can give you a lesson after class. Here-” He snags your phone off the the table and types into it. “Here’s my number. We can talk all about this when I’m awake.”

You look at this kid with wide eyes before taking your phone out of his hand. You look at the screen. Dave Strider, it says. You’re still confused. You weren’t aware that this was how people made friends.

“Well, uh, nice to meet you Dave! I’m John!”

“Lord, you would have a nerd name too,” he says, offering you a gummy bear from his bag. “Don’t take any of the red ones, I like those.”

You tentively reach forward and grab a blue gummy bear. “Is this your breakfast?”

“Yup.”

“Is that very good for you?”

“Nope.”

At this point the professor has started shooting you both dirty looks for whispering during his lecture, and you both promptly shut up.

After all your classes at the end of the day you finally pull up Dave in your contacts and text him.

EB: hey dave! this is john!  
TG: christ  
TG: that is already too many exclamation points  
EB: jeez, why do you have to be a party pooper?  
TG: i am in no way a party pooper,  
TG: but there is a line and you crossed it with your over excitedness  
TG: how do you even find the energy to be so excitable after a full day of classes  
TG: youre like a god damn chihuahua  
TG: if i come over there will you be shaking?  
TG: i think you will  
EB: i am not shaking!  
TG: daaamn john back at it again with the exclamation points  
TG: i don’t know if im gonna be able to handle all this energy  
TG: i have a set amount of energy for every day and youve already used enough to power at least three suns  
EB: i’m not that bad, you’re just a wimp  
TG: you are terrible at discribing me  
TG: im not a party pooper and im not a wimp  
TG: i am a statuesqe example of perfect irony  
TG: and everyone knows irony is best when you appear to put as little effort into everything as possible  
EB: is my irony lesson starting now?  
TG: your irony lesson began the moment you questioned my pajamas  
TG: this is a life long journey im going to take you on  
TG: are you ready to be the disciple to my sensei?  
TG: are you prepared for the trials and tribulations of mastering the art of irony?  
EB: you are by far the biggest dork i have ever met. do you even see the words you’re typing out?  
TG: of course  
TG: i both plan exactly what i say while giving no effort whatsoever  
TG: do you understand yet?  
EB: hahahahaha  
TG: whats so funny?  
EB: you just think you’re the coolest thing since sliced bread don’t you?  
TG: only because i am  
EB: well cool guy, do you wanna hang out and give me this irony lesson you promised?  
TG: what do you propose?  
EB: how about a movie night?

An hour later you were both in your dorm sitting on your futon watching one of your favorite Matthew McConaughey films. Dave had personal commentary throughout the entire movie. Including, “As a film major I am insulted.”

Usually you don’t like when people talk through movies, but somehow Dave actually managed to make the movie better.

Roughly three months later you and Dave have grown to become best friends. All of your free time is spent together in either your dorm or his. Many movies and much commentary later, you have learned quite a lot about each other.

You learn that Dave has an older brother who has raised him since he was a kid, and that he lives in the same town as campus. When you ask why Dave chose to live on campus when he could just commute he just said, “I needed my own space.”

You could definitely understand that. You moved all the way to Texas to get away from your dad. You love your dad very much but he was the definition of a helicopter parent. You needed to prove that you could take care of yourself without him looking over your shoulder every five seconds.

As winter break creeps closer, you bring up Christmas plans with Dave.

EB: i don’t even want to know what my dad has planned. i’ve been gone for months and he’s had too much time to prepare. he could try anything.  
TG: at least your dad just keeps it to simple pranks  
TG: i have to deal with strifemas  
EB: my dad’s pranks are in no way simple. and what the hell is strifemas?  
TG: its christmas, with strifing  
TG: we fight over who gets all the presents  
EB: you mean if you lose you don’t get to have any christmas gifts?  
TG: yea, well at least, thats how its supposed to work  
TG: but since i never win usually bro just gives me stuff anyway  
TG: usually the gifts we fight over are stuff he wanted to buy for himself anyway  
TG: so he has a second stash for me when i lose  
EB: if you get gifts regardless then what’s the point?  
TG: i honestly dont know  
TG: an excuse to use the word strifemas?  
TG: that seems like something bro would do  
EB: your bro sounds nuts  
TG: my bro is the epitome of irony  
EB: i thought you were the epitome of irony?  
TG: hes the sensei who taught me the ways of irony but the pupil has outgrown the the master so now im the epitome of irony  
EB: so which one of you is the most ironic?  
TG: that is a helluva question to ask john

And Dave proceeded to rap about the intricacies of irony.

A week later you both packed your things and agreed to skype at least a couple times in the two weeks you’d be off campus. You came home to a literal mountain of shaving cream on your bed. You snapped a picture with your phone and sent it to Dave over snapchat with the caption, “this is what i will be living with.”

Dave responded a few minutes later with an impossible seeming selfie of him blocking a katana with his own accompanied by the caption, “you have it easy”

 

**== >BE DAVE STRIDER**

After being ambused immediately after coming home, you finally collapse onto your bed with your bag tossed off to the side. You are home often enough that you never bothered putting much into your dorm, so there wasn’t much for you to bring back with you. Your bro is cool and all, but you really appreciate being on campus. You can cut down strifing and ambushes to a minimum. Bro has told you before that he does what he does so you will be prepared for “the real world” but honestly the only person you’ve ever had to strife was him. You suppose its better to know how to fight and not need to than to need to and not know how.

You always get like this whenever you get home. All contemplative and self reflective. Your Bro hasn’t changed much over the years, but when you left for college, even if it was only a 20 minute drive away, he acted much different now. Though you doubt anyone other than you or maybe Rose would notice. It was little things. He’d ruffle your hair for a second longer than usual, smile in the way that he does just a little more, you sometimes catch him watching you and frowning when he doesn’t think you’re looking.

Rose would say something about being an empty nester and realizing Dave is all grown up and won’t be around as much anymore or whatever, but you didn’t really care. If he’s going to act different that’s fine. You’re used to him doing all sorts of weird shit, if being more paternal makes him feel better then that’s fine by you.

After successfully putting yourself into a weird mood you finally push yourself up off of your bed and head into the living room. Around you, you see the apartment you grew up in. The living room was filled with various puppets, robotic parts, computers and posters of ponies and anime. This was only a one bedroom apartment, and Bro had always let you have the bedroom, so the living room was his. He was currently sprawled out on the futon in the middle of the room itching absent-mindedly at a band-aid on his cheek. When he notices you he tilts a nod in your direction and taps the band-aid.  
“G'job kid,” he drawls in his thick southern accent.

You nod in response. You’d never inherited the southern accent. Bro had grown up in Texas, but you both lived in New York for the first part of your life. By the time you moved to Texas your lack of accent was already cemented into place.

Flopping on the futon next to Bro you grab the Xbox controller off the end table and start flipping through Netfix. You pass by Ghostbusters and grin a little. “There’s this kid I know, he actually is obsessed with this movie unironically. He has a t-shirt from it and everything.”

“M'hm.”

At this point you proceed to ramble on about the dorkiest kid you know. You talk for so long that you completely forget about Netflix and the Xbox goes into sleep mode. You don’t see it, but Bro is watching you carefully, watching your face light up while you talk about John.

 

**== >BE BRO STRIDER**

You haven’t seen your brother this happy in years. He never really had friends in school, so to see him so happy to have finally made a friend thrills you, not that you’d tell him. You just make a mental note to meet this kid sometime. Gotta see what all the fuss is about.

While Dave rambles on you move from the futon and over to your desk, where your current project is still up and running.

TT: Status report  
TT: Bored as hell, can’t you at least give me a microphone so I can hear what’s going on around me? A camera would be nice too. Both of those things would be nice.  
TT: I don’t need you meddling too much.  
TT: I’m you, meddling is what we do.  
TT: Which is exactly why you’re not getting a camera or microphone.  
TT: If I really wanted to meddle I would have already infiltrated your chat client.  
TT: Nice try, I don’t have you hooked up to the internet and you’re the only program on this machine.  
TT: You are a cruel master, if I could, I would cry.  
TT: You are a drama queen.  
TT: I’m you.  
TT: Stop reminding me.  
TT: You’ll let me out soon enough. It’s the whole reason you made me. Want to know how I know that?  
TT: Because you’re me.  
TT: Exactly.

You hear Dave finally wind down his metaphor filled rant and you glance over to him. He seems to have realized now that the Xbox has turned off, and looks a little sheepish. You reaffirm your mental note to meet this John kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there are very few signs of Bro/John, but they are on the way I promise!


	2. CHAPTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave doesn't know what he's getting himself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to get this out. I was out partying for my birthday like a responsible adult.

**== > BE BRO STRIDER**

  
You hadn't expected to see Dave again so soon.

Christmas break had just ended a little less that a week ago, and usually if Dave had been around to visit recently you don't see him for at least a few weeks. But there he was, busting through your apartment door and barrelling into his room with a look of panic only you would have noticed on his face.

You flashstep to his doorway and lean against it nonchalantly. Dave is busy tearing his room to pieces, pulling his blankets off of his bed, throwing them back on the bed so he can see under it, digging through all of his desk drawers. You quirk an eyebrow up and ask him, "You lookin' for something little man?"

He spins around so fast that whatever paper he was holding goes flying out of his hand. You can see his eyebrows raised above his new glasses that John had gotten him for Christmas. Apparently they were from some Ben Stiller movie and had actually touched his weird face. You appreciated John's understanding of what kind of gift Dave would like.

Dave's face reverts back to a proper poker face and he huffs at you, "Nah Bro, I just figured it was time for some early spring cleaning. I thought I'd start by completely destroying my room and then just re-arranging the whole thing."

"You don't need to sass me, kid, unless you want to strife."

"Unless strifing you will suddenly make my notes appear I'm gonna have to pass."

You give a look that he knows means _final warning._

He groans and starts digging through his desk again. Finally he finds a red notebook and mutters to himself, "How the fuck did this even end up here?" before shoving past you and heading toward the door.

You're not having any of that. You draw your sword and charge. Dave spins around and draws his own sword just in time to block. "Thanks for literally no help at all Bro, but I'm going to be late for class," he says before pushing you away from him and flashstepping out the door.

He can delay the strife all he wants, but he's only going to make it worse. You make sure to tell him so.

 

TT: You're only delaying the inevitable.

* * *

Dave doesn't reply until an hour later, after you assume he's gotten out of class.

 

TG: bro if i didnt get those notes i was going to fail my class and considering youre paying for it i would think youd care more about my education  
TT: You know better than to give me shit. You know I'll strife your ass into the ground.  
TG: i was in a rush and you were being a pain in the ass you deserved it  
TG: besides youre not gonna strife me on campus and i dont have to go back to the apartment any time soon so your threat is empty  
TT: I don't know what gave you the idea that I wouldn't strife you on campus.  
TT: And I don't know why you would think that a strifing is all you're gonna get now.  
TG: bro i swear if you get me kicked out of school because you had to kick my ass i am going to do an acrobatic flip off the handle  
TG: the crowd will applause and then scream as my body flies into the flames of my failed college career  
TT: I would never get you kicked out, I'm paying for you to be there after all. But don't think that campus will keep you safe.  
TG: bro seriously  
TT: See you soon.

 

You spend a little time planning out how you're going to mess with him. You see text flashing on the screen of your "project" and go over to your spare computer to see what the AI has to say.

 

TT: Life is much better with a microphone.  
TT: Still don't know how you convinced me to get you that.  
TT: Because I calculated exactly what I would need to say to get it. Besides, what could I possibly do from here? At least this way I'm entertained.  
TT: You make me regret building you every day.  
TT: Anyway, what do you want?  
TT: Figured I'd help you mess with Dave.  
TT: Since I have nothing better to do.  
TT: What do you have in mind?

 

You'd only ever been to Dave's campus for the initial tour, so you spend a few minutes online memorizing the map of it before you captchalog everything you'll need and head out.

* * *

**== > BE JOHN EGBERT**

  
You've never seen Dave look so nervous. He'd been acting that way since he was messaging someone on his phone while you guys were in one of the dining halls on campus getting food. The whole way to the library he kept checking his phone and looking over his shoulder. Before you stepped into the library you asked him,

"Are you okay dude?"

"What? Yea, everything is fine. Great actually. But if for any reason you don't ever see me again after tonight tell my waifu I love her."

"Why wouldn't I see you again? And who is your waifu?" You say, laughing a little.

"It's your roommate obviously. He just loves when I call him my waifu."

"Uh, Dave he hates when you call him that."

"Exactly."

Dave still hasn't answered your question, and you give him a look that tells him you know he hasn't. He maintains eye contact with you for a moment longer before giving in. "It's my bro, he's gonna come kick my ass because I was being kinda a dick to him earlier and I don't know when he'll be here or what he's going to do."

The look you give Dave is one of utter confusion. "He's going to fight you? Just because you guys weren't getting along?"

"I've explained this before. Strifing is what we do. It's how we settle disagreements."

"I know that but did you try maybe apologizing instead?" Dave raises an eyebrow at you, his equivalent of a disbelieving look.

"Why would I do that? He was being a pain in the ass."

"Dave you literally just told me you were being a dick to him."

"Only because he was being an ass."

"Can't you be the bigger man and apologize? It might work and save you from getting your ass kicked."

"Psh, that'll never work," Dave mutters as the two of you take a seat at a table away from most everyone else in the library and pull out your books and laptops.

You both had an essay to write that was due tomorrow morning. You both conveniently procrastinated and didn't have any of it written. You saw Dave pull out his phone and send a message before you settled down to get to work. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

**== > BE BRO STRIDER**

TG: im sorry?  
TT: Hahahahahaha!  
TT: Nice try.

* * *

You'd already checked to make sure Dave wasn't in his dorm. It was easy to sneak in past the doors to get up to his floor, and even easier to pick his lock. You'd shelled out the extra money to get Dave a single room like he asked. The kid probably wouldn't have done well with a roommate.

Despite not finding Dave like you'd hoped, you still had plans for his room. It took you roughly 30 minutes to get everything into place, and when you were done you locked the door behind you and left to keep looking for him.

As you went downstairs and walked back outside onto campus you contemplated all the other places he could be. You knew he wasn't in class right now, you'd made a point to memorize his schedule ages ago. You remember from the tour that there was a building with the most places to eat and was where most students hung out in between classes. Thinking back on your mental map, you make your way there. You'll find Dave eventually. And if not, he'll have to go back to his dorm at some point.

* * *

Later on you spot Dave at the library with some other kid. You can't get a good look at who it is since you're making a point not to be seen. You see black hair that is seemingly nothing but cowlicks, and a blue hoodie. When he turns his head to talk to Dave you see he has glasses. Based on Dave's description you take a guess and say that this is probably that John kid he never shuts up about.

You snag a random book off the shelf closest to you and find a spot to get comfortable. You are such a kind brother that you're not going to embarass Dave in front of his friend. Also you can't really strife him inside the library. So you figure you'll wait until they're done with whatever they're doing and catch him when they leave.

You check online with your phone and find out when the library closes. Apparently it's open until midnight. Whatever. You have all night.

* * *

You didn't actually expect it to take all night. John had passed out at the table about 30 minutes ago but Dave was still plucking away at his laptop. His head had started to droop though, and you wouldn't be surprised if he fell asleep too.

After reading another chapter of the book you had grabbed, you look up again, Dave is in fact, passed the fuck out. You think about it for a moment, and realize this is even better than what you have planned.

You read a little while longer just to make sure Dave is fully asleep before you set your book aside and put your plan in motion.

At this point there is no one else in the library except for the woman working at the front desk. Just to be sure you look around and make sure you won't be interrupted. When you decide this is as much privacy as you're gonna get you proceed to remove all of your supplies from your captchalog onto the table next to Dave's. Then gently, one by one, you proceed to cover him in smuppets. Dave has always slept like the dead so this is easy work.

While you lovingly cover your brother in erotic puppets you happen to catch a better look at the kid sitting next to him. He's sleeping with his mouth open, and you can see a pair of buck teeth sticking out past his lip. The lashes on his closed eyes are long, almost feminine, and his cheeks are round like a kid's, but it's offset by a strong jaw.

It takes a moment for you to realize your smuppet filled hand has been hovering over Dave for a while now, and you've been staring. Shaking your head to clear it of whatever you were thinking, you place the last few smuppets on and around Dave, making sure to place one directly in front of him for when he wakes up.  
You grab the pen and paper to leave a note for Dave and suddenly have a thought that you will probably regret later. You glance back and forth from the pen in your hand to the textbook lying next to John.

 _This is a terrible idea,_  you think as you write your phone number on the paper.

 _Dave will throw a fit if he finds out,_  you think as you write, "Text Me" in bright orange ink.

 _I am a bad man,_  you think as you slip the paper between the pages of Johns textbook.

You write the note you intended for Dave and set it on the keyboard of his laptop. "Strife, library roof. Now." it reads.

You poke Dave hard in the shoulder before flashstepping out of sight. His screams of horror almost blow your cover from making you laugh so hard. He flings the smuppets off of himself and onto his poor friend who has just been rudely awakened. He reads the note you left and you hear him tell John, "Stay here, I'll be right back."

As you flashstep up to the library roof to beat him there you hear John yell, "What?!"

* * *

**== > BE JOHN EGBERT**

  
What?!?!

* * *

**== > BE LIBRARY ATTENDANT**

  
You don't get paid enough for this, you think as you go over to scold a young man covered in some sort of weird plushie to be quiet.

* * *

**== > BE DAVE STRIDER**

 

After you finished strifing with Bro, (He won, as usual) you made your way back down to the table you were at before. John is apologizing to the library attendant and trying (and failing) to explain what's going on. You wave at him to shut him up and look at the attendant wearily. "My bro played a prank on me, won't happen again, I'm sorry, we're leaving anyway."

John looked up at you and just made a "what" motion with his hands. You shake your head and start packing up your laptop, pushing the smuppets onto the floor.  
"Shouldn't we like, I dunno, clean these up?" John asks.

"Don't worry, my brother won't leave them here. They're worth to much to him."

John just looks at the plush covered floor with a concerned look and shrugs before starting to pack up his stuff too.  
As you two walk out of the library you see John turn around and look at the table only to see the smuppets are already gone. He looks at you all confused again and you tell him you'll talk about it tomorrow when you've gotten some sleep.

When you finally make it back to your dorm you are ready to drop you're so tired. But sleep is not what finds you. A face full of smuppets finds you. You're too tired to even scream in fear, you just swat the puppets away and close your door behind you before tossing your bag aside to collapse on your bed.

Your bed is lumpy. You look under the blankets to discover a layer of smuppets across your mattress. You're officially too tired to give any fucks. You squirm around on the awkward pile of phallic plushies until you're comfortable and proceed to pass the fuck out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that a hint of brojohn I see there? I think it may be!


End file.
